After a lot of thinking, introspection, I decided to quit my job. I wanted to try my entrepreneurial instincts. I had these grandiose dreams and visions of me becoming a millionaire and all. The first few months of my entrepreneurship journey were dreamy, romantic with the thought of running my own business. But as days passed, just like any other entrepreneur I too had to face many roadblocks. And as it happened things did not pan out the way I envisaged, I burnt some of my hard earned money and unhappily decided to put the project on the backburner. And I moved on to next project, not wanting to give up on my entrepreneurial dream.

Anyway, coming to the main point, once I quit my job, got busy with my business, dealing with the daily chaos. There was something niggling me all the time.  I was always used to working, receiving a salary, spending it freely, the way I want, on things that I wanted or sometimes did not want. More importantly, I never had to ask anyone for money!

Once one of my friends asked me “what do you miss the most about the work life? So without thinking, spontaneously the reply from me was, “I miss the SMS that I used to receive from my bank about salary credit.”

And that’s when it hit me, for me; really the most difficult part of not working was the financial dependence. The lack of freedom (self-imposed, I must say) to use the money as and when you please.

Not that I was told not to, neither were there any restrictions, just the guilt that I was not earning (Maybe I think too much!)

Every time I would discuss this with my husband, he would say, “Arre, what’s the issue? Take whatever you want, do as you please, do I ever ask you?” Right, you don’t, but I still have a problem.

Now I am not sure how other non-working women or home makers or stay at home moms deal with it. Do you feel the guilt of not earning, financial dependence, the need to freely spend your money?  I surely felt it, maybe I am wired differently. Maybe it was my working class mentality; after all I have been working for the last 15 years! So I had mentally not transitioned into thinking like an entrepreneur.  Or could it be self-respect or worst still ego?  Whatever the case may be it surely stopped me from being myself.

And I decided that I need to resolve this issue once and for all, I decided to take a salary for myself. I did work for so many years and had savings of my own. So I invested in a low-risk Mutual Fund and opted for Systematic Withdrawal Plan, a facility that automatically withdraws a predetermined amount from your mutual fund and deposits money in my bank account on a monthly basis, like a salary!

I would recommend this to all non-working women, even if you have never worked before. Start with a small corpus even if it’s been given by your spouse. Having an account in your name and receiving money in that account on a regular basis gives you a good feeling.  What’s more, spending the money from this account gives you a different high altogether!

To many this may sound silly, but it’s okay, I felt good and my confidence returned. That, to me, was more important than anything else.

And of course, I once again started receiving the monthly SMS from my bank 🙂

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